Fake News

Reports coming in from Reuters indicate that the prime minister has shouted at his wife after nearly 34 years of obedience. The reason for this extreme reaction is not immediately known. According to reports, the incident happened at around 7 AM at his residence when Mrs PM asked him to go to market and get some vegetables. Mr PM who was in the middle of his daily “Talk for Five mins for today” ritual, retaliated saying that he can't and shouted at his wife in his usual mellowed voice that it’s a strategy by her to make him not talk at all in a day. He seems to have said that she has done this for the past 34 years that whenever he is allowed five minutes to speak he has been asked to go buy vegetables and that resulted in him talking about vegetables during the given time rather than issues like price rice, nuke deal etc. Speculation is rife that at this rate, the PM and his wife will be headed for divorce in another 38 years (if they live that longer) and the PM's voice is expected to become increasingly loud and reach at least 100 decibels in the next 25 years. It is not immediately known whether there is any foreign hand is behind this incident, but the home minister ruled such possibility out saying that the PM is well guarded and it is extremely improbable that someone from outside would have planted this seed of destruction in him. Though he conceded that there is a possibility that this may have happened 28 years back when the PM (not a PM that time), discussed the domestic issues with a foreign minister in a foreign land and he thinks that the PM might have taken the meaning of domestic issues literally and discussed the issues at his house rather than the issues in the home land.

Reactions coming in from various sources indicate that the fact that the PM has voiced his opinion, though in a feeble voice, indicate that the PM might actually have an opinion on lesser important matters like, FDI in retail, spectrum, tamils’issue, inflation and Mamata Banerjee. Speculation is also rife that the PM might revolt against Sonia too and he is planning on sitting on his preferred seat during the party meeting and not where his party high command dictates him to.

Meanwhile, the mentally disabled spokesperson from Madhya Pradesh (mental from MP) has said that this is a sign of PM’s coming of age and whoever called him weak will have to eat their words. He also added that Rahul will become the PM soon and no one can stop him and his toilet flush is not working properly. When asked about the relation between what he said now and PM’s reaction, he mumbled something. Reporters ran off from his house fearing for their lives as usual. They also indicated that the fact that the mental from MP is speaking the same way he did in the past two days suggest that all is well with the world and we shouldn’t panic. Meanwhile in Tamilnadu, MR KK has called for a high level meeting of his party cadres to discuss the developments. We come to understand that however, the meeting was cancelled since KK came to understand that most of his party cadres are cooling their heels off in various jails across the TN and no one turned up for the meeting. He and his sons tried to discuss the issue but that meeting was also canceled as KP Karuppu from Madurai declined to attend the meeting since KK didn’t announce him as the next leader. KK however in a press release said that his party still supported the PM in this hour of distress and added that speaking against his wife might not be a bad thing after all. He also added that he advised PM long back to marry another woman so that both their wives can fight with each other and he will get his full five minutes in a day to speak his mind.

BJP indicated that it sees a conspiracy in this. when pressed to spell out what the conspiracy is, the party however declined to comment. It said that this a diversion tactic adopted by the ruling party to divert people’s attention from important matters facing the nation and trying to project the PM as strong. The spokesperson also added that they don’t condone this action by the PM and this is totally against their policy of speaking against anything that is wrong. They also showed examples of actions by their government in Karnataka. The spokesperson also blamed the media that they are blowing this out of proportion and instead should concentrate their energy in reporting how Gadkari lost his weight.

Reports coming in from Washington indicated that America is watching the developments in India closely with utmost concern and will step in as and when needed.

It also assured that there is no need for knee jerk reactions at this point and will wait to see PM’s reaction tomorrow to assess whether this a one time event or a recurring theme. 

Death

I got introduced to death when I was 7 when one of our neighbors died in an accident. In those days, I didn’t understand what death was or I must say death was scary. The body was draped in a white cloth and people played Parai (a kind of drum that is played when someone dies, called a Parai in Tamil) and paraded towards the funeral home. I was so scared to see that that I hid myself behind my Mother. My mother used to say that the dogs can see Yama coming and they tell us by howling (and crying – dogs cry too) in the night. Incidentally, for a week before this man died, dogs in my street were howling and crying. So, I was shit scared after that I dreaded sleeping alone in my house. I was 10, when one of my friend’s brothers was killed in an accident. I started to understand death. Especially, the look on his father’s face when my father and I went to his house to convey our condolences is still in my memory. After that, lot of deaths have crossed my path – from a 10 month old baby to a 80 year old grandmother, from a friend, who drank a pesticide to kill himself to a friend who drowned in a nearby pond, death came in different sizes, but that fitted all. But, all of them , just crossed me as another day in my life before something which turned my world upside down. One of my sisters, died in 2008. Death pained. It still does. I started feeling the pain of others who have gone through this. To get through that, I spoke with one of my closest friends, Vikram. The reason is that he has seen his father and mother die in a short span of time, when he was 17 and for that age, I felt he handled it much better than any of the elders I have seen do. So, naturally I talked to him and he said couple of things that still ring in my ears – He spoke of forests where the forest continuously reinvents itself. He said, death is part of the nature’s design to get the new. Without death, we will not get anything new and there is a reason for everything. I dint quite understand that, but it still stuck a chord with me. Two months after that, Vikram died in an accident. I didn’t understand the nature’s design even then.  I don’t know what nature was thinking when it took both of them. But as Vikram said, it had a design in mind, probably. After that, I started accepting death as part of my day to day life. If we think about it, from the day we are born, we are trying to chase death and move closer and closer to death before we succeed one day. We live to die and for nothing else. If we understand that, we can make most of our decisions in life with a clear head and be objective most of the times. When I hear my coworkers cringe about someone else getting a promotion and not them, when someone else gets an onsite opportunity instead of them, I just ask them to think about how big or small is that when compared to our lives. Is it big enough to trouble us a life time? Or would we be better of moving to better things accepting that nature has a design for us? How many of us think that “he died already, I still didn’t?” why compare only when things go wrong for you or someone gets a promotion instead of you? I get stares for those explanations, but I am sure someday they will come to an understanding as I did. Most of the times in my life, it is this understanding that guided me. That’s why, I was able to move on from people who cheated me, move on from something that didn’t do any good to me etc. I think God’s biggest success lies in keeping the secret of death with him. We don’t know what we will do after we die; we don’t know what to expect; and therein lies his biggest victory. As Steve Jobs said once, if we start living our day as if it is going to be our last, we won’t regret a day in our life and (won't) do things that will make us unhappy.